I didn't shave. On purpose
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
