I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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