could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
my poor anus
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
