He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
