Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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