Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize