apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
