What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
