I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
