im about as happy as oj after his trial
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
what is it with giant penises always finding me
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
