i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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