I love black thongs
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
