the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
