If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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