im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
