then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
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The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
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I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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