That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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