You work out of a Hotel?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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