my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I think I sprained my soul last night
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
