thus making me awesome and them whores
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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