People in love make me want to vomit
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
