I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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