You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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