You really coming over, don't trick.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
