I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
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the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
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The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Randomize