His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
