somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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