I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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