It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
