but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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