Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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