There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
