pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
