k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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