The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize