is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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