She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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