Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
