Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize