I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize