playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
