You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
