Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
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