The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
