he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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