Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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