I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
