i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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