Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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