he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I am naked and annoyed.
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