its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
soo... how was my night?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
