I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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