I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
