you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
