i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You were trust falling into bushes
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
