What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Please don't give away my fajitas
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