but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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