Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just found a bag of teeth...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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