how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
