apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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