Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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