her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
