she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize