I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
